I have to apologize again for my lack of blog posting, the internet is not yet fixed, and while I've been able to borrow it from other places, I am still working on getting everything sorted out.

Let me give a little example, that I now find to be rather comic, as I've stopped caring so much:

I am trying to see if the data card I use (plugs into the usb) to get internet is broken. So we go to the repair shop Monday. Unfortunately, we go during lunch hours, which are 2:45-4:00. The store is only open 10-6 (which according to my friends means it opens at 11). Tuesday, we don't go because everything is closed. Wednesday it is a holiday. Thursday, my phone's sim card died and I had to deal with that. Today I gave up and decided to deal with it when I get back from vacation. Welcome to India.

In other news, I'm going to Rishikesh again. I am so excited to wake up at four in the morning and go on exploring adventures. I'm going for five days with my friend, friend's boyfriend, and friend's boyfriend's dad. So its going to be a lot of fun. And I am looking forward to it.

Men have small bladders.

I meant to count before I wrote this post, but I didn't go out today. I meant to count how many men I saw in a five to ten minute trip to a market urinating on the sidewalk, else in a bush, their backs in clear view to all passing traffic and pedestrians walking nearby.

On any given day, I'd say the number ranges between one and three on a 10 minute auto ride, though if  you go on longer rides you can get up to five. Its not that I mean to notice these events, but its rather difficult when I'm in an auto, which is entirely open on all sides, and I'm trying to learn my way around a bit, and want to look at more than the back of the auto driver's head.

The phenomena of people stopping mid-walk to unzip their pants and turn their backs to the street, in broad daylight, is just one that is entirely alien to me. In fact, if they were to try that in the US, they would be arrested for public indecency. Yet this practice seems very prevalent.

I have seen a number of public urinals available to those in need, but as this phenomena continues despite the facilities, I must conclude one of two things: either these men are exhibitionists, or, more likely, they have exceedingly small bladders, which forces them to stop along heavily trafficked roads to relieve themselves right on the sidewalk.

In other news, it was pleasant outside this evening, so that we had our first singing practice outside, as it was cooler than in the room with fans. And it made me so happy. Especially when a lovable stray dog came to visit. 

Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwiches are so American.

I'm gonna make a peanut butter and banana sandwich, do you want one?

This question I posed to my french friend, to which she responded:

Peanut Butter! Banana! in a sandwich! Oh my God you are so American!

I did convince her to take one bite of my delicious toasted wheat bread, crunchy peanut butter, and banana sandwich, (after exclamations that she was being a traitor to her culture) to which she finally replied that it wasn't good, but wasn't as bad as she was expecting.

Yes, this post is going to be entirely about food.

We slept a lot today. We only went out of the apartment to buy ingredients for dinner: Cucumber and tomato salad, Pasta with eggplant, and yet another apple crumble.

If I could convey our joy in these foods, you would not believe me. Its just so relieving.

I go back to live in the dorm tomorrow, back to the mess food, but I'll go back well fed with homey food and having had the opportunity to cook and rest all day long (I did sleep about ten hours last night). 

I have nothing too new to say, other than I had a wonderful day even though it included class on a Saturday. So, here are some pictures!

The pink thing is a police lookout in M Block market, five mins away

Karan and Michri!

MOMOS

I LOVE MOMOS.

not eating momos, but sweet potatoes with masala and whatnot in a rickshaw with Michri

A quiet road, compare to the busy road

Random things seen on the way to the market

For anyone who was confused what a rickshaw is

A busy street, unfortunately, we couldn't take pictures of the epic potholes

A random person with a bag of bags of chips. 

On another note, I'm making apple crisp, and totally winging the recipe, but I think I got the major parts down. Instead of lemon juice I used some cross between a lemon and an orange and it was green. I forget the name. Its looking like that will be dinner. :)

This weekend I am at Margaux's apartment! She's moved in with the student from Brown this weekend, and so me and my friends are taking full advantage of her, her facilities, and her wireless internet (as still, I'm having problems with mine). 

I'm mostly better now, over my cold. We heard that the water was not working for the night, and so carried about ten bottles of water with us, and our backpacks, and bags of clothes, in two little riskshaws. It was rather funny, with people and bags piled on these little bicycles. It turns out the apartment does have water, and so the weight we carried was unnecessary. After much debate, we passed up the opportunity to cook and ordered mughal food. Its really yummy, especially with Bob Marley, Cat Stevens, and Mumford and Sons in the background. The plates and packages and glasses and bottles are still piled on the table, the remnants of our two months in India/Margaux's new apartment celebratory feast. 

And thats about it, just happy to have space, and a table, and friends to hang out with. 

Sickness and Feminism

So I have to apologize for not posting for so long, my internet has not been working for the past week, and I'm still negotiating with the company to fix it, so I'm hoping to have it fixed by the weekend.

Today I went to the UN Conference center in Delhi for a round table on women and disarmament, sponsored by WISCOMP, an organization I may want to get an internship with next semester. There was a very interesting presentation on the trafficking of small arms, which did amaze me, but I had to leave half way through because I could tell I had a pretty bad fever. So I spent most of the rest of the day in bed, blowing my nose and sleeping off my fever. (Hopefully me getting sick means the weather is changing...getting cooler...)

While I was there I was having a conversation with one of the girls from my college. Lady Shri Ram College is basically known for being radically feminist, and for producing realist-hating (US given responsibility for realism) feminists. I have a hard time considering myself a feminist. I'm all for equality, but my kind of equality is about all being human. Whenever I engage with feminist ideas, I always feel myself made to feel a woman, not a human, as if being a woman was somehow a distinct category separate of greater humanity. I appreciate feminist concerns in conflict studies, where rape as an instrument of war and the economic aftermaths of conflict as pertains to women are areas that merit study and action. But I don't like being told that I'm a woman, therefore I nurture peace. I am a woman, therefore I have a different perspective on international relations.

I am a human, and I expect to be treated like a human. And despite this so-called feminist institution, I have never felt so repressed for being a woman as I have at LSR. The warden of the hostel frowns upon any going out of the hostel for the weekend or a late night, because obviously girls are putting themselves in danger and degrading themselves by hanging out with boys. The men who work on campus won't make eye contact with you in the hallways. All forms ask for permission from your parents (father) or legal guardian, even if you are a legal adult. This is the first place I have been told I could not do something because I'm a woman, and I'm being  told this by supposed feminists. I understand this is India, and there are legitimate safety concerns, but the point I wanted to raise (perhaps confused by my ranting) is how my friend explained so well today:

The UN MDG is to promote gender equality BY empowering women.
Feminist literature often seems to focus on empowering women, not gender equality.

I'm a human, then a woman. A lot of feminism makes me feel pinned into a role of a peaceful, nurturing, life-giving woman. I would prefer if someone didn't hold a door for me but treated me like a human, than hold a door for me and make me feel like I am something distinct from them. 

Singing at bars

Singing at bars is not something I've ever done before, and yet I can say that my first ever gig took place at an Indian bar/restaurant place.

The College's Western Music Society got a gig, and so in addition to a few group pieces, we all got to prepare and sing solos/duets/trios. I sang Don't Know Why by Norah Jones. As most of the crowd were people from the College, I've a few times gotten to experience the amusing and slightly awkward situation in which someone I don't know or recognize calls me by name and says I did a nice job singing.

Of course the college dorm won't let you come back after nine-thirty, so I stayed at a friend's house for the night. For all their preoccupation with our safety, the strictness of their rules often defeats the purpose. For example, we drove all night and got back from Rishikesh, 30 girls who live in the dorm, at four in the morning. Unfortunately, they would not let us into the dorm as the gate doesn't open until six. Its lucky we were able to crash for two hours at the travel agent's house, because apparently last year, the girls arrived early in the morning and simply waited until the gate was opened, but that freaked the administration out and so they all got suspended for 15 days. I don't really understand, but I think the idea is that its better to wander the streets of Delhi after a night of no sleep from 4-6 in the morning instead of sit by the college gate. Thats at least how I'm interpreting things.

As I'm the kind of person who is usually in bed by 10, and awake at 6, I haven't run into too many problems with the system, especially as its easy to get around, with a little help from friends in Delhi and a both real and pretend lack of comprehension of the system. St. A's is seeming like an abode of freedom.

So that was my rant...but, in any case, I had my first gig in India. 

Rishikesh!

This past weekend, I went with aprox 30 girls to Rishikesh, somewhere 6 hours north of Delhi, famous for being a religious place, hippie hangout, and yoga capital of the world.

We actually stayed about 15km outside of Rishikesh, at a little retreat much more rural and peaceful than the city itself. For me, this was heaven. I feel most at home when I'm in nature, be that backpacking in the White Mountains or in my own backyard. I'm never worried about bears, or in this case, panthers, or anything else. I just feel welcomed home.

The trip included a few decent hike/walks, visiting the banks of the Ganges, a short high ropes course (the systems were not redundant for you climbers out there, there were thirty seconds or so that I was in a tree not clipped in to anything as they changed the line I was attached to) and an evening in the city of Rishikesh itself.

So I was absolutely in heaven, morning to evening. Well, not on the bus, which was air conditioned if you could stand a funny smell, and bumpy like nothing I've ever experienced, which basically meant I went those nights without sleeping (thank you to the wonders of smart phone technology and friends who were awake on the other side of the world to help me sort out my life).

That was the other wonderful thing about Rishikesh, experimenting in being who I always wanted to be. I have expectations for myself, which under basically every circumstance I can fulfill. I can get strait As in honors college classes, running a marathon, waking up at 6 to meditate; I can juggle work, clubs, physical health, relaxation. Here, reality has been harsh as I attempt to maintain these expectations in an environment where I don't need to, in fact maybe I can't. This results in beating myself up over expectations that were unrealistic to begin with, which is harsh, as when you're in a new place its not just one or two things that you can't do as well, your whole performance in everything is thrown off.

So I decided I don't need that, and in forming this, have taking from several peoples wisdom who I'm not citing here but who know who they are. I'm just going to start at the end, to start now being who I've always wanted to become. All my duties are in a sense on hold, all my ways of defining myself are left back in the US, therefore here I have the opportunity. Sometimes balance is counterintuitive, for me at least; I am learning balance doesn't mean being perfect at everything, but putting effort where it is important, and letting go of that which is left. It is a learning process, but one that started beautifully in Rishikesh.

And alas, here are some of the 300 pictures I took...there is no way I'm putting all those up so here are a few.

Clouds in the mountains at 5 in the morning

Our retreat in the morning

One of the rivers flowing into the Ganges

"Trekking" 

I know its hard to be a rural farmer and all...but I'm up for it.

Only slightly posed...

The Ganges! Its still clean up here in Rishikesh, though muddy from the rains

This is me walking on water....with the help of a few cleverly placed rocks...

In Rishikesh

These bowls filled with flowers we lit and put into the Ganges in Rishikesh

Wow so I just realized I could talk about the bombing in Delhi and the earthquake that both happened in the same day...How I forget something like this I don't know, but I'll explain.

I was having a bad day (Wed, Sept 7) and decided that I would skip morning classes to rest and go out with my roommate in the afternoon. This was the plan until late morning when I my friend texted to tell me that there had been a bombing, and to stay around College for the day. The bombing was outside the High Court, and according to my friends (haven't checked this but it seems to be true), the rain washed away most evidence and of course India doesn't have video cameras outside the High Court. 12 people died and 76 were injured.

So needless to say our plans of exploring a new place were put on hold. We instead went to Pizza Hut, which here is a sit down restaurant with a beer and wine menu, and I got hot chocolate cake and ice cream.

A day later, we thought, why don't we go to Sarojini? (A big and cheap market we like to get clothes at). But this idea was vetoed by a friend who said to stay away from metros or crowded places for a week, in case the bombing was to be part of a series.

Its really odd, most people seemed to be more excited about the news than concerned. It still seemed like an event that happened far away, that you hear on the news, not something that happened within the city you live in. No streets were closed, no school cancelled, no moment of silence, nothing. Just continuing with an added bit of excitement: did you hear? The only seriousness seemed to be to stay away from metros and markets for a few days, but even with those stipulations, it has already slipped from our minds. It almost wasn't real until my history teacher told the class that the husband of a retired professor was one of the injured.

Then, that night, we had an earthquake. I was sleeping. I am used to earthquakes; I live in California. I know the shaking entered whatever dream I had been having, but it was a huge crashing that woke me up...which might have been the sound of a hundred girls screaming. I immediately reverted into fire drill mode. See, generally, when I'm suddenly awoken in the night, the situation is that someone set off the fire alarm, and its winter in New England, and its gonna take the fire truck an hour to get here. My first thoughts: shoes and sweater. I didn't quite realize I'm in India and its not below 80 degrees, I was looking for my sweater when I realized I didn't need it. I looked in the hall, saw lots of people, realized it was an earthquake, and promptly got back in bed. Its like my dad has described. When an earthquake happens, first you think, What is this? then you realize its an earthquake, then its over, and there is nothing you have to do. So I went back to bed.

I don't really know what it was, I've heard 4.2-6.6. I'm guessing more on the 6 side; it was nearby, and it was strong.

But I guess the ending to this post is that despite a bombing and an earthquake, I slept fine. 

...

Yes, I know I haven't written in probably a week...and I won't at least until Monday again. Because I'm going to RISHIKESH (if I'm spelling things right) with the dorm.

In other news, I had a test today, which was very nearly cancelled by the foot of water that was blocking all traffic. It was great, totally dumping all morning. A wall around the school even collapsed. I was very happy. It has since stopped raining and now its getting humid, which I am not happy about, but I guess I can tolerate for the absurd flooding in the morning, as that was very enjoyable to see and get wet in.

I noticed people here don't have raincoats. When I pull mine out they smile at me like you would someone in Mickey Mouse ears, as if to say "aw, thats cute." (They use umbrellas) But needless to say I was rather dry in my lime green raincoat. I like that raincoat. Its been with me in the White Mountains, its been with me to India.

As for the test, I'm just glad its over, because it was all on different historians arguments about 18th century India, which should be interesting as the Mughal empire fell and the British took over, but it amazingly isn't, or at least learning the nuances of ten historians' arguments is not. But its done and over!

So this is I'm sure an amazingly interesting post, but it was mostly to give all y'all something to look forward to.

Plaid

For those of you who don't know, I was probably meant to be a lumberjack.

Aside from the enjoying being in the woods part, the most definite indicator is my obsession with plaid and flannel.

Flannel shirts are kind of a staple of my wardrobe. I have people who claim not to have seen me without one. I find plaid flannel shirts to be not only stylish, but comfortable and cozy in a way reminiscent of a kind of cool rainy day in rural New England. You know, the kind of day involving several cups of tea and trips to the greenhouse. The coziness and comfort of flannel, and the sort of sentiment it invokes, have led me to flannel pajamas and sheets as well.

I even brought flannel to India. I was so excited a few weekends back for the opportunity to be in air conditioning, and thus able to don my one plaid flannel shirt.

All this in explanation to why what I'm about to say is so exciting. Today, I made a purchase that ought to bring joy to the hearts of all those who partake in their own way of my plaid wardrobe. I bought plaid leggings. They are green and blue, and I am likely going to where them everywhere I can. Which may look a little silly once I put my grey/black plaid flannel on top...just kidding, I'll stay in the room with that get-up. 

A Balanced Breakfast

Today I went to breakfast in the hostel. I grabbed two pieces of toast, an egg, and a banana. The man on the other side of the counter started talking to me, and without any comprehension of what he was saying, just be some hand gestures and a pleasant demeanor, I put together that he was indicating that I try the cheese spread. I got some and put it on my plate.

He turned to the person next to me in line, who explained that actually he was saying that I am not supposed to get fruit if I take and egg. I said okay, and left the line with both my egg and my banana, because I wanted both the egg and the banana.

Apparently I have to be sneaky in order to have a balanced breakfast. That and I'm totally confused as to the reasoning behind this, all I can think of is the food budget, but there seems to be plenty, so I don't know what exactly is the problem with having both one banana and one egg.