The Sunday Night Blahs

Today, for the first time in a while, I was struck by what my mother affectionately refers to as “the Sunday night blahs.” The Sunday night blahs are those feelings associated with the semi-dread of going back to school or work on Monday morning. They come in varying styles, “the weekend wasn’t long enough,” “I’m not having fun at school,” and “I don't like work,” as well as varying intensities, ranging from being slightly down to tearful despair.

Though it was Monday, I was struck for a while this afternoon and evening with a feeling of the Sunday night blahs. I leave on Wednesday for India, and suddenly, this seems very immanent.

Not only was I suddenly struck by the abruptness of my departure, but also I have a tendency to put on myself responsibility for the feelings of others, somehow considering it my responsibility to keep all those around me whole and happy. This, I continue to find, is near impossible to do, but despite this, something in me continues to put this upon myself. Today though, I was reminded that the opposite is true.

I was in the family room with my mom and step-dad watching house hunters international. During a commercial break, I had told my mom that I had the Sunday night blahs, which had festered today as I was looking at my adorable puppies. I then asked, “You’re not gonna be too sad when I leave?”

My mom, who is both excited to live vicariously through me and also sad to see me go, responded, “I will be happy so long as you are happy. If you’re not happy, then I won’t be happy.”

To which my step-dad added humorously, “and if Mom is happy, then I’m happy. If Mom isn’t happy, then I’m not happy.”

“So,” I said, “I just have to be happy, and then everyone is happy.”

While I think we still have to work on not depending on other people for our happiness, in this situation, we seem to have moved my responsibility for happiness back to only myself (where it belongs), as well as exemplified motherhood and marriage, all in one. 

Having mentioned my puppies, here is the perfect opportunity to include pictures, as no blog of mine would be complete without them. 

Maxwell

Dizzy

Puppies napping on the bed